Wow, has it really been over nine months since I've posted a new journal entry?

So, I was expecting 2009 to be another epic year, much like 2008. Yeah...no. Okay, well, that's not entirely true. In February, I did get to go on vacation with my boyfriend and his family to Steamboat Springs, CO. It was a trip of firsts: it was my first venture outside of the Gulf South (I've only been to Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida before), it was the first time that I've seen real snow, it was the first time I've ever seen real mountains, and it was the first time I've ever tried snow skiing. Although it was surrounded by drama, I had an awesome time.

A week after I returned to work from my ski vacation, I received the awful news that I was being laid off. Yes, the bad economy caught us with the company that I was working for. So, I scrambled for two months trying to look for a job. The good news is that I found employment elsewhere. The bad news is that during my hiatus, my relationship with my boyfriend fell apart.

It should be no surprise that after I lost my job, my confidence took a huge hit. Instead of being the conforting, supportive man that I was hoping for, my boyfriend was seriously bothered by my dip in self-esteem. We had never had any problems before with our relationship, although we both have our own separated issues. It just so happens that his issues were...umm...rather unique. For whatever reason, the circumstances brought all of our individual problems out into the spotlight.

Eventually, I had to realize that my boyfriend was turning into an entirely different person, and that what he was going through was not just a phase. We had talked about marriage, children, and moving away to start a life together, but his issue was growing and I knew that none of the plans we had made would work because of it. As much as I didn't want our relationship to end, I had to give him an ultamatim: issue or me. He chose the issue.

I thought we would still be close friends, but instead, he has chosen to completely erase me out of his life. He won't talk to me anymore, and that includes seeing me in person, calling me on the phone and sending emails or instant messages. When I try to contact him, he just gets angry. He's even deleted and blocked me on Myspace and Facebook. It hurts like hell, and the worst part is that there's nothing I can do about it.

I've been practicing with the Wacom tablet that he gave me last Christmas, as you all can see from the last few deviations that I've posted. Unfortunately, every time I use it, I think about him.

2009 is more than half way done with, but really, it's been such a lousy year so far that best I can say is that I don't see how it can get much worse.